Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You made me cry and you don't even care
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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