i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
