chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You were trust falling into bushes
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
there is glitter all over my balls
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