i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
