You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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