I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I understand Curling. That high.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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