when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Floor bacon is actually really good
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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