just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
