whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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