he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
