google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
