After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
