Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
