I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
