The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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