Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize