weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize