Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
