Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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