can u get pink eye on your cock?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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