p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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