There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
