Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
