she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize