And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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