I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
