I need help removing her.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just cropdusted the office
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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