69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Boobs speak an international language.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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