wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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