I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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