Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
