Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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