if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
