Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
