He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Randomize
