I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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