Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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