Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
