just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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