What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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