You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
