Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
