one word: firstdatebathroomanal
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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