Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
