guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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