i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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