I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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