i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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