So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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