My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So squirting runs in the family.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
