Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
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I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
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My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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