I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
