I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
