if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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