ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
