What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
