hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
