White coat. Heels.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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