the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
