its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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