I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
