Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
